Just Be You.
I had a different post planned for today, but I decided to push that one back to get a little deep with you guys and share some things that have been on my heart. Do you ever feel like everyone around you is winning at life and you’re just kind of bouncing along like a hot mess? That’s been me lately. I’ve found myself over-stressed, over-emotional, and trying to take on too many things without doing any of them really well. Life has been chaotic. My house is a mess, I have bills stacked up that need to be paid (which really drives me nuts), and a to-do list that never gets any shorter—all the while trying to be a half-way decent mother to my sweet kiddos. And to make it even more fun, I’ve been letting myself enter into that toxic game of comparison. You know what I’m talking about—you see someone rocking it and you instantly feel like chump change. And then the negative self-talk starts up. “Dang, she’s so awesome.Why isn’t that happening for me? Their house is so new and fancy and wonderful. I wish I had that. She’s so much better at this than I am.”
Whhhhhyyy? Why do we let ourselves do it? It’s all BS and even going there makes me angry at myself for jumping on the pity-party wagon. But dang, it sure does come easily sometimes. And while I wish I could drop-kick comparison into a dark alley and never see it again, the truth is it will always be around. Seeing other people succeed, seeing others do awesome things you wish you could do, a nicer house, more money, blah, blah, blah. It’s all going to be there. The only way to escape the game is to change your mindset. And that starts with loving yourself first. I know, I know, you’ve heard this before. And it is a little cliché, but it’s true– God has given each one of us our own talents, strengths, skills, and weaknesses. The combination of those things is what makes you who you are. And whether you believe in God or not, the fact is there is only one you on this planet. Only one me. We each have our own calling and journey in life, so getting side-tracked with what other people are doing is a one-way ticket to Failure City. Your heart, your passion, your dreams, and even your struggles all work together to create your unique story. And truly, the difference in all things is simply perspective. Sure, your house may be old, but it has character. You may be flying under the radar now, but your time will come. Or maybe you’re a terrible cook, but a talented quilter. You’re awful at cross-word puzzles, but Sudoku is your jam. You get it…it’s all a matter of perception. And at the end of the day, it’s our decision to enjoy life and be grateful for what God has given each one of us.
I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. Sure, there will always be crap that happens in our lives. Things that aren’t fair or just plain suck, but that can’t define who you are or where you are headed. It’s up to each one of us to wake up and seize the day. Go out into the world, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to rock it. Embrace the bad days, the messy, and the imperfect, but cut yourself some slack for heaven’s sake. Moving forward, even if the path isn’t always perfect, is really all that counts.
Photo by Michael’s Light Photography.
So if you’ve been in a bit of a funk like me lately, letting yourself become overwhelmed with life and caught up in junk that doesn’t matter, I hope this post is the kick in the pants you needed to get it together. And a simple reminder that your self-worth isn’t measured by what others are doing.
You are enough. We all are. So just be you.
The Comments
Chrissy
Just what I needed today!
Laura
> ChrissyLove this!!! Thank u for sharing it again!
Susan
Amen Sister. I try to spend a little time with the LORD each morning. When I make HIM first the rest comes along. Be true to yourself is good. I remember when I was single and alone. I put the saying “pleasure vs. happiness” in my day book to help guide me to give up the immediate to save for a house, I thought a home would make me happy. It did but I grew and I fell in love and got a bigger house, in time I realized it wasn’t about stuff…my new saying became “happiness vs. JOY”. I downsized to a log cabin in the country with hubby and simplified…and I am busy but I keep HIM first and there’s always enough, and time for the important things.
Don’t lose sight that you take the time to bless us.
Sarah
> SusanThat’s so true, Susan. I have also noticed that my days go better when I start with quiet time with the Lord. And I love your saying happiness vs. joy–life is about being content and not chasing the wind.
Gayle
I agree totally, Sarah, and have had these same thoughts as well. I lost my son 5-1/2 years ago – he was only 17. There is nothing, and I mean literally nothing, worse than losing a child. Fortunately, I have a daughter that keeps me going and gives me a reason to continue on. I constantly am asking “Why, why me?” and why not some other evil person that “deserves” to have bad things happen to them. It would have been much easier for me to lay on the couch every day and cry, however I made a decision to continue to live my life despite losing my son. I also stayed mad at God for a long time, never understanding why he took my baby boy from me. I manage to stay upbeat and live life to the fullest extent possible. My daughter is my rock, and I am thankful for her each and every day. Thanks for this inspiring post. You are awesome!
Sarah
> GayleOh Gayle. I need to squeeze you. I’m so, so sorry about your son. I cannot even imagine that kind of pain and grief. I have so much admiration for your strength and fortitude to move forward and continue living despite so much heartache. You are truly an inspiration. I will pray for God to give you peace and hope for the future and to richly bless you and your daughter. xoxo
Gayle
> SarahThank you so much, Sarah!!
Marilyn Soto
Today is a Good day for a Good day- someone told me years ago that when these things come up to “give yourself the same advice you’d give a friend” and that’s exactly what you’ve done. I love your post!
Sarah
> Marilyn SotoAmen to that Marilyn. That’s one of my favorite sayings EVER!!
Heather
<3
Mary
Beautiful words to begin the day with! Those of us who run our own business at home will totally understand about chaos, mess and long to do lists. Going to cut myself some slack today ????
Sarah
> MaryOh I totally get it Mary–it’s almost harder to be at home, trying to do it all at the same time. Hoping we can both find some balance & peace in the chaos!
Joan
Thank you . . . . . such great words and well put.. . . Love this post!!!!
Sarah
> JoanThank you so much Joan!
Melanie
Thank you! Thank you! I am guilty of this and I’m going to try so hard to stop it. It’s easier than ever with social media because everyone’s lives are all out there and it’s hard not to compare but today I am going to try really hard to change that! I am enough!
Thank you for this post.
Sarah
> MelanieSo true Melanie, social media does make it so hard to focus on yourself and not what everyone else is doing. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. But YOU are definitely enough, so don’t think for one minute anything different.
Joette
Definitely the kick in the pants I needed today! Thanks for being so honest ♡
Sarah
> JoetteHigh five to that Joette! Everyoe needs a good reminder from time to time. xoxo
Tricia
You are exactly where God wants you to be at this precise moment in time. I am 61 years old. Believe me, when you get a few more years behind you, you will realize what is most important in life. The rest is all fluff. Love your blog.
Sarah
> TriciaThank you for saying that Tricia and reminding me that God has it all mapped out so I don’t need to worry. And for sharing your wisdom about life, I couldn’t agree more.
Cecelia
> TriciaBeautifully said! Much wisdom is born of pain. As we age, we learn that are true spirit thrives spreading goodness and love with family and friends-not in gaining more possessions, more “things”, and playing the “one-upmanship-game”. I start each day with quiet prayer and meditation, being grateful and always asking God to help me reach my highest self, and my highest good. Thank you Sarah for your honesty and beginning this dialog, and reminding us what is important in our precious lives.
Cecelia
Selena
Love it Sarah! Excellent words to describe something we all struggle with. So glad you followed your instinct and changed your post for the day!
Sarah
> SelenaMe too Selena, I thought we all needed a little reminder today! xo
Nancy
Beautiful post ???????? Thank you for the deep breath I’ve taken and the peace I feel today.
Sarah
> NancyAhh Nancy I am so happy to hear it helped you. Thank you for stopping by!
Helen
Like one of the other ladies here, I am a fair bit older than you at 51. Believe me when I say, you are not alone when you question why, compare yourself to others and get frustrated. It’s done by many. The key is to recognise that, allow yourself time and then move on. It’s because of your blog and your inspiration that I’ve had the courage to look into doing my own blog. I look forward to your email in my inbox! Keep going Sara, you’re doing a great job!x
Sarah
> HelenHelen, you are SO right. The key is to recognize it and allow yourself time to process, then move on. And thank you so much for your sweet words and encouragement! I truly appreciate it.
P.S. If you’re dreaming about a blog, I say go for it! 🙂
Melinda
I just read this in a daily email I receive – 2 Corinthians 4:8 – 5:7. I think we all get in those funks from time to time. But if we’re His – we’re overcomers and this too shall pass. I enjoy your blog.
Sarah
> MelindaAmen to that. We are all HIS. Thanks for sharing this verse Melinda!
Laura stewart
Sarah here’s what’s funny. I watch your amazing growth and success and talent and have compared my success, skill or lack of to you. We all have talents and while maybe in the same niche, they are very different. Your IG and blog growth is phenomenal. You are doing exactly what you should and we’re born to do and it shows. I too admit to comparison and at times even jealousy (gasp) but that’s human nature. However, you are correct. It’s all a matter of perspective and I choose to be happy for those succeeding and use it as a motivator to keep pushing myself! Love you to pieces!
Sarah
> Laura stewartOh Laura, I need to hug you. You are so darn sweet to say that. But please know that I have admired you from day one and I too compare myself to you and your talents. It’s just human nature to do that with someone you admire and respect. You are so talented and awesome, don’t you dare doubt that for one minute. Or else I’ll have to come down there and knock some sense into you! In the most polite kind of way, of course. 🙂
Pam
Yes indeed. It’s not about what we do in life but why we do it!! It is what’s in our heart that counts. Thank you for sharing your heart. Love this post.
Sarah
> PamYes ma’am! Life is about how we love and live, not what we have.
Brenda
Such a good article today! We all have those times when we compare ourselves with others, but God made us all unique with different gifts, just like you said, so it’s kind of a slap in His face when we say we are not good enough. Anyway, Lisa Bevere has a new book out called Without Rival and it is about that subject. One quote from her today on Instagram says, ” Rather than compete for what was never meant for you…you would have the energy to discover what is yours.” She says, “As you lean into your Creator, He will reveal YOU! You were not created for the compromise of comparison and competition. Allow God to position you for a life #withoutrival, identity is revealed in His presence. Grin!
Sarah
> BrendaYes indeed Brenda, God made each one of us unique and special in our own way. Thank you SO much for sharing that quote from Lisa Bevere, I seriously love it so much! Definitely going to look up that book.
Garden, Home and Party
Thanks, I needed that. I wasn’t sure if it was the season change our what?! I’m normally such a ridiculous positive person, but lately I’ve been internalizing the self doubts and entering into that downward spiral. Your timing was perfect.
Karen
Sarah
> Garden, Home and PartyRight?! Seems like something is in the air. I’m usually good about avoiding the pitfalls of comparison, but self-doubt likes to creep up from time to time. Thanks for being here, I appreciate it Karen!
Kim
Words to live by!! Thank you for sharing and reminding all of us that everyday should be a cherished day. Love to the fullest and without regrets. Love your blogs!!!
Sarah
> KimThank you so much Kim! I totally agree, love to the fullest without regrets. That’s the only way to do it. 🙂
Tiffany
Love your heart and man that comparison game is a killer. I have totally bought off more than I can chew, I want so Handley to “make” it all work right now and have to remind myself I am one woman, one mom, one wife, on friend who has tonalso make time for me. Take a step back and prioritize.
Xoxo
Sarah
> TiffanyDefinitely time to prioritize and cut from the list. Hoping your load gets lighter soon Tiff, one woman can only do so much!
Jaimee
This fall, I went back to teaching high school English after a 16 year stay-at-home season with our three children. Talk about life being chaotic, trying to shuffle many things at once. But I keep coming back to relationships. Yes, be true to your own calling, but then look around to see WHO is blessed by YOU being YOU each and every day. That’s what we were created to do:Love as He first loved us.
LOVE your blog, your darling house, and your transparency????
Sarah
> JaimeeThat’s a HUGE change Jaimee, I have no doubt that your plate is full. But you’re so right about relationships being key. Thank you for that reminder that we need to look around everyday to see who each of us can bless. And thank you so much for stopping by! xoxo
Doreen Sulfaro
Sarah, I, too, am a bit older than you at 55 and have lived and learned plenty. We all have heard “the grass is always greener on the other side”. What you need to do is when your mind starts to do that wandering off about other people being more fortunate is – stop, take a deep breath, thank God for the wonderful life and family He has given you and put a smile on your face. We all get overwhelmed at times and want to just cry, scream or run in the other direction. But we don’t and keep trudging along. Whether you know this or not, you always put a smile on our face and we all count on you and smile when we get to see you LVN Mail in our inbox. You are so special as all the woman who replied to you and are blessed. I want to THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU. Just breathe, look at your kiddies and your honey and all of us who adore your posts. Say a prayer and God is always with you and remember this which has helped me much – God never gives us more than we can handle. It makes us stronger. Gayle, my heart goes out to you and know your son is an Angel watching over you. As to my other LVN colleagues, let’s take on each minute of every day as a wonderful blessing. We are all special people and God Bless. Have a beautiful Friday. TGIF!!!!!
Sarah
> Doreen SulfaroDoreen, you are seriously the sweetest. Thank you so much for your amazing words of wisdom and kindness. I love your strategy to stop, take a deep breath, and thank God for the wonderful life He has so generously given me. And you are so right, God never gives up more than we can handle, so no reason to worry. You are a true gem Doreen and I’m grateful to have you here reading my blog every day!
Chelsea @ The Johnsons Plus Dog
Ugh…. you literally brought tears to my eyes. This is just what I’ve been needing to hear. This whole blogging world can be sooo hard and at times discouraging. I need to stop comparing myself and just be me. 🙂 Happy Friday. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Sarah
> Chelsea @ The Johnsons Plus DogOh Chelsea! I’m so glad it helped you and gave you some encouragement. Blogging isn’t as easy as it look and comparison can be the hardest part. Keep you head up and just be YOU! 🙂
Amy Holloway
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I needed to hear this. Thank you! This is my life exactly these days. As crazy as it sounds, it seems to make me feel better knowing I’m not the only one going through this. This is the extra little push I need to start this week off with a positive attitude (again) lol. I do believe this week will be better this time. Thanks again. God Bless.
vanda
Thanks for sharing. Nice to know I’m not alone in those thoughts.
Robin
Such a great reminder now a couple of years later! It does feel like constant pressure and comparison for us ladies, my husband never seems to fall into these traps, ha! It’s helpful to know that other people are feeling the same way sometimes. What’s crazy though is that we can all look at someone else and wish we had something that they already have…and that they are probably insecure about! Thanks for sharing 🙂
A Simple Fall Porch + A Few Favorites
[…] The last thing I want to share today is something that inspired me this week. So a few days ago I was browsing on Pinterest and I came across this image. And honestly, it stopped me in my tracks. LOVE YOURSELF MORE. It’s such a simple concept, but how many of us are our own worst critics? I know I certainly am and unfortunately it’s all too easy for me to be really hard on myself. I’m guessing a lot of you might be the same way too, so today I want to encourage you to stop focusing on your perceived flaws and think about all the reasons you are amazing. Really, go ahead and do it right now. What makes you unique? Why are YOU awesome? Stop and think about those things and truly appreciate them for a minute. I wrote a whole post on this topic a while back, so if you need a good pep talk you can read it here. […]